It’s February and the consensus on social media is the imminent doom that singleness will destroy us all. When will someone boo me up? is usually what’s posted, followed by a flurry of emojis showing related frustrations. 

I don’t spend much time at all on social media as I’m cautious of falling into mainstream thought trains (this may be a blog topic sometime down the line, so stay tuned if I give my take on social media usage). But what I have seen, as it’s now February and Valentine’s Day is approaching, is people’s concern of singleness as if it’s something to condemn from themselves. What shocks me most is that there are hundreds of posts with the exact same phrases or words as if copied and pasted. So let me dissect my thoughts on this dilemma. 

The impression I get immediately upon reading this is the equivalent to that of an “I’m open” sign a store would post on its front door. It’s a way for people to capitalize on the impending occasion, a way to present themselves to whomever they are hoping for. But this “open” sign shouldn’t be a means for a feeding frenzy—pestering with messages and/or comments is NOT what anybody should do on social media, regardless of sex, and is considered harassment.

So let’s say you don’t have that special/romantic person to spend Valentine’s Day with: guess what, you have yourself! And even if it’s not what you envisioned for the 14^th, the reality is that you can never get away from yourself even if you wanted. Let me tell you this story about myself:

… I lived alone for college, just before and during the pandemic. A Craigslist post led me to a detached garage turned into its own property, fenced and all; the spot was perfect for a single person, because of its size, and I wasn’t murdered by the one who had posted the listing. Anyway, the pandemic moved me to online classes, which meant tighter confinement with myself. There weren’t many students in the area anymore—many had moved back home, many stayed away from others in general—so I had to find something to keep my sanity. Confinement is good for the creative as it provided me with time to write my poetry and short stories. However, perpetual confinement was where I drew the line. To combat the insanity my brain was approaching, I picked up my skateboard and rode the five minutes to downtown. I’d brew my coffee to-go and sightsee the local murals and related installations. I’d sit on street benches and read, people watch and observe the world. And I found the more I did that the more I’d start talking aloud to myself (the sort of talking to oneself that’s lucid, far from the insanity I mentioned above). The thing about it is that the whole situation—living alone when the pandemic hit—is that it had me realize the importance of hanging out with oneself, because you will always have yourself in the end.

My point about the singles yearning for someone this month: don’t stress it! Take yourself out to a museum, a bookstore, go see a movie or just cruise the scenic route! I’m based in Los Angeles at the moment, and if you are too, there are some popular places to check out for you first, or even hundredth, time. The Last Bookstore in downtown has a plethora of books, records, and walking space to take your time about! The PCH and the Santa Monica Pier are superb coastal day- and night-getaways to drive around or walk along! And the Arts District has a number of interesting people, restaurants, and bars (if you’re 21+ that is) to come across! The underlying thing about this is that you’ll give your mind time to ponder whatever it is in your life, to mentally sort out complexities or just have a moment to daydream. 

Treat yourself this Valentine’s, and many more days for that matter, because learning to be with yourself will bring about the confidence to share it with someone else that is surely waiting for you out there.